Elizabeth

Scarlet Words is the blog of Elizabeth, a 20-something Aussie who has traded her hometown of Brisbane for the bright lights of Melbourne.

She is a musician and photographer, and you can see her work at her portfolio site and store, Scarlet Arts [under redevelopment], or her deviantART account.

She is owned by a small dog named Harry, and has an embarrassing habit of introducing herself in the third person. If you like, you can read even more about her.

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A clever advertisement

Elizabeth March 31st, 2008

Saw this ad at mebeli[ embodiment ], along with some great commentary about the devices they used to make it such a successful commercial. It definitely sucked me in!

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Wordpress upgrade

Elizabeth March 30th, 2008

Thanks to the few people who sent me concerned emails today when they noticed my site was looking screwy. Something broke when I upgraded to Wordpress 2.5, and it took about an hour to get everything running again. It’s funny how it only takes 10 mins to upgrade Wordpress 4 out of 5 times, but the exception to the rule is always a massive shitfight.

Anyway, I’m so far quite impressed with the latest version, except for two things. The first (minor) annoyance is the ugly colour scheme, which will no doubt be tinkered with further down the line. The second issue is a bit more serious, and I imagine it has affected other bloggers out there even more than me.

The first sign that something was wrong was when my 101 Things in 1001 Days page led me to a 404. None of the other pages were broken, so I assumed that something was screwy in my database. Strangely, I could edit the page without any problems from the Wordpress Dashboard, so I knew the page itself wasn’t damaged.

Further experimentation has led me to believe that this version of Wordpress cannot handle numerical URLs properly. Here’s the URL of my 1001 Days page:

http://www.scarletwords.com/1001/

I experimented with a couple of other pages, changing their “page slug” to numerals. Here’s what happened:

http://www.scarletwords.com/elizabeth/harry/
This URL performs well.

http://www.scarletwords.com/elizabeth/123/
Changing the previous page slug from “harry” to “123″ confused it into displaying /elizabeth

As far as bugs go, it could be more serious. However, I’m in a situation where /1001 happens to be the most linked-to URL on my website, and changing it would be fairly damaging as far as traffic is concerned.

Workarounds include setting up redirects and updating all my internal links (which is a big job, as I link to it often in posts), but I imagine that this is beyond the scope of some of the more popular blogs. I’ve decided to live with the 404 error for the next day or so while I try to investigate a real solution.

It should be noted that URLs with number and letter combinations work fine, such as my 100facts page.

Has anyone else come across this bug? Heard of any solutions? I’ll update this post later with any information I find.

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I miss you!

Elizabeth March 29th, 2008

I’m genuinely sorry that it has been so long between posts. I’ve been looking forward to writing here (I even have a bunch of posts half-written!) but work has been kicking my ass so thoroughly that I am crawling into bed every night after dinner.

Posting from work isn’t simple either, since I share my role with one other person who is sort of my superior. I’m sure that once I settle into a better routine my blogging will become regular again, but bear with me for another couple of weeks while I learn my job.

And speaking of regular…

You know that one person in your group of friends who catches every single bug that goes around? In my group of friends, that’s me. So when people at work started to drop off like flies from the flu and gastro, I knew it would only be a matter of time before it was my turn.

On Thursday afternoon I crammed myself into a tram at Flinders St, after being unable to get on any of the previous four. A major tram stop is being upgraded there right now, and getting home from work has been a little like being shipped off to a concentration camp. I found myself smooshed up against a group of men who reeked of BO and old cigarette smoke, and by the time I got off at my stop my stomach was churning, which was the first sign that something was wrong.

On Friday morning I got dressed for work, and spent an hour trying to leave the house. I eventually surrendered and took a sick day, not wanting to risk being too far away from a bathroom on my morning commute. Turns out I made the right decision, as I spent all of yesterday between the couch and the bathroom, hopped up on gastrolyte and swimming in Tim’s old track pants. At some point I braved the outdoors to get more Panadol, and when I came home I was so exhausted that I just fell into bed with the lights on. Tim came in later to tuck me in with the toy squirrel that his mum gave me.

After 12 hours sleep I think I’m actually worse than I was yesterday. This is a really shitty (see what I did there?) way to spend the weekend, and I’m so over it.

But anyway, in other news…

I’ve been thoroughly enjoying the recent cold snap in Melbourne, and all the beautiful rain we’ve been having. Winter clothes make me happy from head to toe, and my new haircut looks a zillion percent better when it’s not humid. It has been so great to see our yard turn green before our eyes, and to switch the heater on for the first time. I can’t wait for Winter to hit properly, but first I need to stock up on the right clothes

…Which would be easier if my first paycheck had been correct, just quietly.

I’m hoping to crank out another couple of posts that I’ve been planning this weekend, and get this blog up to date! I haven’t had much time to read your blogs over the past few weeks, so please leave me a comment and link me to a couple of interesting posts you’ve written lately!

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ATTN: Women in shirt-dresses

Elizabeth March 23rd, 2008

99.98% of you look completely ridiculous.

My hope is that you look back on this period in your lives with a healthy mixture of shame and amusement - much like the time you bought those pants with the built-in skirt. Make no mistake - history will judge you.

I am hoping that Winter takes care of this alarming trend.

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Update: PMS worse for Aussie women

Elizabeth March 19th, 2008

I have been following the discussion in this post with great amusement over the past week or so. It seems that when it comes to women and their periods we all have an opinion… and no matter which side of the fence you’re on it is Very Serious Business!

When I wrote that post, I didn’t really expect anything more than a few laughs. It was, after all, intended to be funny - and so many men and women can relate to the author of the letter, exaggeration aside! Instead, the discussion turned into very heated debate - which is not surprising given that a male reader helpfully suggested we girls all have our ovaries removed!

I thought I’d add some fuel to the fire with this article, discovered at the Sydney Morning Herald today. Tell me what you think!

Australian women suffer significantly higher rates of severe and debilitating poker gratuitonoble pokertilt poker7 card stud gratisstri pokerdownload giochi poker gratistavoli da gioco pokerpoker texano on linepoker on line in italiano7 card stud inlineapoker il giocodownload live pokereuropean poker tourper giocare a pokertornei di pokerpoker online bonusscommesse internetpoker online italiatorneo poker on linepoker on line gratis,poker gratis,download video poker gratisgioco video poker gratisgiochi internetholdem poker,poker texas holdem on line,holdem poker downloadgiochi di poker on linescaricare gratis pokerstrip poker flashpoker comstrategia pokeronline casino gamescasino’ onlineregole crapswww giochi casinoslots machine gratisvip casinogioco di roulettebaccarat onlinemobile casino gamesgiochi jack blackplay free baccarat onlinepc game casinoall slotsgiochi on line casinosistemi rouletteroulette europeacasino bonus no depositi casino onlineonline kenoblack jackcasino per pccasino da scaricare gratis premenstrual syndrome (PMS) than females in Europe and Latin America, a new global survey has found.

Research presented at an international mental health conference in Melbourne showed that about 40 per cent of women get PMS, typically mood swings, irritability, stomach bloating and sore breasts in the two weeks prior to getting a period.

Physical symptoms were more prevalent than emotional symptoms, but the latter were more “bothersome” for women, according to the findings collated from phone interviews with more than 4,000 women from eight countries, including Australia, the UK, France and Brazil.

About three per cent of women across all countries suffered the most severe type of PMS, called premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).

But the rate was significantly higher in Australia, where nine per cent of women interviewed met the criteria of at least five physical or mental PMS symptoms suffered on a severe scale almost every period.

Research leader, psychiatrist Professor Lorraine Dennerstein from the University of Melbourne, said the preliminary findings were both surprising and concerning.

“It’s very new data which hasn’t been fully explored yet so we don’t know what it’s linked to,” Prof Dennerstein said.

“But we know smoking is bad for PMDD, and it can also be affected by stress, income levels, cultural background and other factors.”

She said it may also be that Australian women were more aware of their bodies and reproductive-related problems.

“What ever the reasons, it is worrying because this syndrome is very, very debilitating,” she said.

“It has a major impact on how a woman runs her daily life, her work, her relationships.”

The research was funded by a pharmaceutical company which is soon to launch a new contraceptive pill in Australia that is claimed to help alleviate PMDD symptoms.

Prof Dennerstein said the pill, called Yaz, works on both physical and mental symptoms by partially suppressing the menstrual cycle.

Conference convenor professor Jayashri Kulkarni said the pill was promising. Other medications like new generation antidepressants known as SSRIs and anti-anxiety drugs had also shown some benefits, she said.

Some women were also able to manage their condition with vitamins like evening primrose oil, exercise, cognitive behavioural therapy and by reducing the stress in their lives, Prof Kulkarni said.

“This is not a minor problem, it’s terribly disruptive, so we need to explore as many different pathways as possible to find treatments.

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Two milestones!

Elizabeth March 18th, 2008

I began a mildly fanatical exercise and diet regime at the beginning of February, as part of my 101 Things in 1001 Days challenge. Since then I’ve lost a bunch of weight and am feeling a million bucks.

Writing about my weight here feels a bit strange, to be honest, because it’s a fairly private thing for me. But in the spirit of tracking my progress, I think it’s important to make mention of two big milestones!

Firstly, yesterday I went clothes shopping. It’s something that I did out of necessity, because the best-fitting work skirt I own is at least one size too big for me. I really resent spending money on clothes right now because I still have weight to lose, but it had reached the point where wearing this skirt wasn’t even an option anymore.

The skirt I bought is a cute little number from Portmans, TWO SIZES smaller than the skirts I was buying there 6 weeks ago! I’m wearing it today, and it’s pretty fabulous.

Secondly, and this is even more impressive…

I have taken ownership of my skinny boyfriend’s cargo shorts because THEY FIT ME and I want them so he’s lost them. Words cannot explain the moment when I tried them on and they looked good!

(I told Tim that if he said ONE WORD about those shorts being big on him I would break his nose. So far he hasn’t!)

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Kids’ Rock by Tim Hawkins

Elizabeth March 17th, 2008

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Still alive…

Elizabeth March 16th, 2008

I know it’s been really quiet around here, but this week has been insane. I’ve started a new job, and am still adjusting to leaving the house each morning when it’s still dark. How I will cope in the dark and cold of Winter is beyond me.

I’ve made a decision to not write about work here, except in a very general way. There’s a good chance that some people at work will become friends over time, and so I don’t want to put myself in an awkward position by writing about anyone here. And besides, I really don’t want to be dooced, so I’ll play it safe for now.

I’m planning to set up “blog by email” today, so that I can write posts for my site during the quieter periods at work during the week. I’m not comfortable actually loading up my domain at work yet, but I don’t want another week to pass without any posts!

Don’t be alarmed if you see strange things around here while I’m testing it all out.

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Meanwhile, it’s been nice to have a chunk of money show up in my bank account already! Yesterday I braved the 40C heat and bought some new plants, and then spent the afternoon repotting them. It was so much fun getting my hands dirty that I then weeded the garden and pulled out a vine that periodically tries to strangle one of our trees.

By the time I had made dinner and cleaned up I was completely braindead and fell into bed. Today I slept in until the grand hour of 8am! Working Monday to Friday has turned me into such a pussy.

Anyway.

I’ve been having fun thinking about all the stuff I’m going to buy over the next few months, now that I have a regular income. It feels like I’ve been living on next-to-nothing for so long, that even mundane stuff will be exciting to buy! Items on my wishlist include:

- A big, brightly-coloured watering can
- Cushions for the couches
- A spice rack
- A double stacker saucepan/steamer
- Oversized noodle bowls (for big salads and pasta)
- Blender
- Alarm clock (with an ipod dock?)
- New M.A.C. makeup
- Some cute, pointy-toed shoes with a low heel
- New jeans (!)

And the bigger stuff:

- A bed for the spare room
- A coffee table, so that I can put the blanket box in the bedroom again
- A replacement lens for the one I broke

The first step is getting out of bed again early in the morning, so that they continue to pay me. Guess I’d better get some sleep.

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#9 - Learn something about wine

Elizabeth March 10th, 2008

Part of my 101 Things in 1001 Days challenge

My brother had a conference down at the Mornington Peninsula last week, just outside Melbourne, and extended his stay over the weekend. Tim & I met up with him in Frankston yesterday to see a few wineries and have lunch.

We only had a few hours to work with, which was made worse when we discovered that none of the wineries opened before 11 or 12. It’s almost as if they were telling us that drinking before lunch was frowned upon! Still, we managed to see a few great places including Main Ridge Estate, Tucks Ridge, Red Hill Estate and T’Gallant Winemakers.

I took lots of photos, but I’m really unhappy with most of them. Stupid me for forgetting my UV filter on a sunny day - the contrast and colours are pretty awful.


My brother took us to lunch at T’Gallant, and our meals were incredible


Eldridge Estate (I think?). This winery was closed when we visited, but I still wanted to get a shot


Main Ridge had beautiful gardens surrounding their vineyards. This was probably my favourite photo from the day.


Wine tasting at Tucks Ridge, where I learned that not all Chardonnays are cheap and nasty

I’m really excited about going back to these places when we have more time (and a car!). In particular, Tim really wants to take his parents to the area when they visit at the end of the year, since they love their Australian wine.

I came home yesterday with some really useful tasting notes, and several bottles of booze. Most importantly, I left with some changed opinions about what I thought I did/didn’t like in a wine, and a real appreciation for the winemakers in this region.

These wine tastings taught me a great deal, and were certainly a wonderful start to my goal of learning something about wine. However, I didn’t really feel as though I understood enough about the terminology used to describe them, or the processes involved in making different types of wine. This morning I went hunting for “beginner guides” online, and found Vino! to be a great source of information for an uncultured swines like me.

In particular, I recommend checking out Wine Knowledge 101, Wine Dictionary and The History of Wine.

Do you have a great online resource that would help me continue to learn? Tell me all about it in the comments!

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Dried Flowers

Elizabeth March 8th, 2008

Remember my Valentines Day flowers?

I’d like to say that I gave them heaps of care and attention when drying them. Ordinarily I’d have hung them upside down in a dark closet somewhere until they felt like paper, in order to achieve a shot like this.

Instead, I left them in their vase until all the water evaporated and they lost the will to live. Oops.

Either way, the effect is really beautiful. I love the dark outlines on the petals, and the way they retained their colour. I’m now trying to think of some sort of use for them, having turned last year’s roses into beads.

Does anyone have any ideas, aside from potpourri?

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#66 - Make a vegetable and herb garden

Elizabeth March 8th, 2008

Part of my 101 Things in 1001 Days challenge

When I put this item on my list I had some pretty grand plans. I was going to grow everything I needed to survive for the next 20 years, all without digging up any of the beautifully landscaped garden in my rented house. How I imagined I would do this is beyond me!

To have the vegetable garden that I really want, I really need to wait until I own my own house. Growing veggies in styrofoam fruit boxes is a nice idea in theory, but what they really need is a well-drained, raised bed.

So instead I’ve focused my efforts on growing herbs in pots. I took photos of the prettier ones.

I’m switching them around a bit according to sunlight needs, but trying to keep the most-used herbs in the kitchen where they’re handy. The herbs in the pictures are parsley, Italian parsley, coriander, basil, thyme and mint. There’s also a big chili plant sitting outside in the sun, which I forgot to photograph.

Vegetables can grow in pots and boxes, so I haven’t given up on those completely. Next Spring I’ll try again, but for now we do have some little tomatoes every now and then. The birds seem to get to them before we do, but at least we’re trying!

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#15 - Find permanent, full-time work

Elizabeth March 8th, 2008

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Image from Jannygirl

Part of my 101 Things in 1001 Days challenge.

First of all, apologies to my friends who are learning of this new development via my blog! I’ve been feeling very blah about this job since getting the news on Thursday, so I haven’t even told people about it. Except for the need-to-know people anyway, like my family (gotta stay in the Will, after all).

But it’s time to quit the pity party and stop focusing on the negatives that have been making me feel cranky. It’s not my style to dwell like this, so hopefully writing about it will get it out of my system.

First, the negatives that have been consuming my thoughts:

- The job is beneath my capabilities. I’m overqualified.
- The pay is appropriate for a position with low responsibility. (Or, put another way, it sucks.)
- Despite finding an awesome house close to the city, I will not be working in the city. I have to take a tram and a bus to work.
- I will sometimes have 8am starts, which will be difficult with the longer travel time.
- This is the 13th item that I’ve completed on my list! Could this be an omen?

I know, right? Waaaaaah. Even I can see how whiny I’m being. I think part of the problem is that I know I could have done better with more time and less procrastination. There’s nothing on that list that makes me a unique snowflake - it’s the same stuff that working people deal with every day. I just need to accept that I’m not running my own business anymore, and can’t control my working day.

It’s just a transition period. I’ll get used to it.

With that out of the way, here are some of the reasons why this job might… no, WILL!… be great:

- It mightn’t be the city, but it’s not far from it. The area where I’ll be working is full of awesome cafes and shops, so lunchtimes will be really interesting.
- The people I’ll be working with seem really social, and many of them hang out outside of work hours.
- There are regular Friday night drinks, BBQs and events.
- I will be able to watch the Grand Prix from my window!
- I will be meeting new people.
- With some experience under my belt, I will be able to demand much more next time.
- Despite the less-than-desirable pay, I can afford to live. I’ll be fine.

I’m starting the new job on Tuesday, and I expect I’ll feel much better with day 1 out of the way. I know it will be good to sink my teeth into something and learn a new job, and to meet new people.

Besides - there’s plenty going on for me outside of work hours, so I’m sure that will make it easier to push on if the job loses its challenges. Right? ;)

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101 Things in 1001 Days: February 2008

Elizabeth March 8th, 2008

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I know it’s a little late to be posting this, but I’ll just add it to the list of things that are overdue! I wanted to write a recap of February before moving on to the stuff I’ve been doing in March, so here goes.

In February I managed to complete six items from my list of 101 Things to do in 1001 Days. They were:

#49 - See a Gold Class movie
Thanks to a very generous gift voucher from Sally, Tim and I saw Sweeney Todd in the luxury of La Premiere. It’s something we’ll do many more times, now that we know what we were missing!

#32 - Go to Luna Park
The St Kilda Festival was on this month, and we spent the day there listening to bands and soaking up the sun. Luna Park was one of the places we checked out, and it wasn’t until after we’d been through it that I remembered it was on my list!s

#50 - Go to an outdoor movie
I can’t do this justice with a short summary - you should really check out my post about it to see how awesome this place is!

#10 - Walk to the city and back 8 times in one month
One month? Pffft - I did it in 14 days! In that time I walked 100km, and lost a bunch of weight. I’m now starting a running program to continue the good work.

#18 - Teach myself to use Excel
February was the month that I defeated Excel, and started making kickass graphs.

#7 - No chocolate for a month
I am living proof that one month without chocolate will not kill you… but it did come pretty close.

Overall, February was a fantastic month for my general health and fitness, and has gotten me well on the way to completing some other health-related goals. It was also great for learning more about Melbourne.

For such a short month, I really feel like I accomplished a lot!

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#7 - No chocolate for a month

Elizabeth March 4th, 2008

Part of my 101 Things in 1001 Days challenge.


This is a chocolate mud cake that I made for my Aunt’s birthday last year

I don’t know exactly what strain of insanity was running through my head when I decided to put this item on my list, but there was no escaping it. I chose February as my Month of Denial for two reasons: a) it happened to coincide with the general health-kick that I’ve started, and b) it’s the shortest month of the year!

I suppose I should have chosen February 2009 and avoided that twenty-ninth day, but part of me really wanted to put this task behind me.

I’m proud to say that I didn’t slip up once, even a little bit. I didn’t pick the chocolate off the rocky road at Adam’s place, I didn’t swipe any of Justine’s choc-top at the movies, and I didn’t even drink that sachet of fat-free hot chocolate that’s been sitting in the pantry since Sally visited.

I was SO GOOD. I had so many opportunities to cheat, and I didn’t. I think the fear of having to start this task over was what kept me in the game.

The strange thing is, it’s now March 4th and I still haven’t had any chocolate. I was writing in my paper journal last night about how I have lost all desire for cheap chocolate, and would much rather have a small amount of something high-quality and rich.

This year, I only want one really good Easter egg!

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More modified Garfield

Elizabeth March 4th, 2008

I have posts that need writing, emails that need answering, and a floor that needs a good vacuum. Unfortunately, I’m having one of those weeks where other stuff has taken over. Hopefully things will be back to normal in a few days!

In the meantime, check out the latest altered Garfield strips to hit my inbox. They’re almost as good as Garfield Minus Garfield!

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xkcd: A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math and language

Elizabeth February 29th, 2008

I am loving this comic so much right now. I’ve been sitting here hitting ‘random’ for 20 mins, and it’s nothing but gold.

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China recycling used condoms as cheap hair bands

Elizabeth February 29th, 2008

Used condoms in southern China are being recycled into hair bands and they are selling well in local markets and beauty salons.

But they could spread sexually-transmittable diseases the condoms were originally meant to prevent, state media reported today.

Rubber hair bands have been found in local markets and beauty salons in Dongguan and Guangzhou cities in southern Guangdong province, China Daily newspaper said.

“These cheap and colourful rubber bands and hair ties sell well … threatening the health of local people,” it said.

Despite being recycled, the hair bands could still contain bacteria and viruses, it said.

“People could be infected with AIDS, warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while waving their hair into plaits or buns,” the paper quoted a local dermatologist as saying.

A bag of ten of the recycled bands sells much cheaper than others on the market, accounting for their popularity, the paper said.

China’s manufacturing industry has been repeatedly tarnished this year by a string of scandals involving shoddy or dangerous goods made for both domestic and foreign markets.

From The Age, via Meg at Dipping Into the Blogpond

I’m speechless again, which makes for terrible blogging.

So it’s over to you guys: what would you do with the used condoms of 1,321,851,888 people? Let’s see if we can drag standards just a little lower!

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Forwarded Email of the Day

Elizabeth February 29th, 2008

I’m not sure that I quite believe the source of this letter, given that it’s full of British spelling, but it’s funny all the same!

This is a letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph.

PC Magazine’s 2007 editors’ choice for best web mail-award-winning letter.



Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your ‘Always’ maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard Core or Dry-Weave absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse’? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. Isn’t the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, Mr. Thatcher, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from ‘Aunt Flo’. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control, maniacal behaviour.

You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants…

Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: ‘Have a Happy Period.’

Are you fucking kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager male brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything ‘happy’ about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreen’s armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out of your ass, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like ‘Put down the Hammer’ or ‘ Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong’, or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that’s a promise I will keep. Always.

Best, Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

Not that I would know anything about the emotions she’s describing. Nope, not me.

No, siree.

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Early Easter

Elizabeth February 28th, 2008

I knew Easter felt early this year, but I didn’t know why until I found this explanation from Somebody Unfamous.

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Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox, putting Easter on March 23 this year.
(the Spring Equinox occurs March 20)

This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Hebrew people used to identify Passover, which is why it moves around on our Roman calendar. Easter can actually be one day earlier (March 22) but that is pretty rare.

This year is the earliest Easter any of us will ever see the rest of our lives! Only the most elderly of our population have ever seen it this early (95 years old or above!). Moreover, none of us has ever, or will ever, see it a day earlier!

Here are the facts:

The next time Easter will be this early (March 23) will be the year 2228 (220 years from now). The last time it was this early was 1913 (so if you’re 95 or older, you are the only ones that were around for that!).

The next time it will be a day earlier, March 22, will be in the year 2285 (277 years from now). The last time it was on March 22 was 1818. Therefore, no one alive today has or will ever see it any earlier than this year!

I think trivia like this is taking up all the useful parts of my brain. Ah well. This was just a thinly-veiled excuse to post a picture of chocolate anyway…

(Did I mention that February is my chocolate-free month this year?)

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#18 - Teach myself to use Excel

Elizabeth February 27th, 2008

Part of my 101 Things in 1001 Days challenge

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I can finally hand in my tattered membership card to the “I can’t use Excel” club!

Against all the odds, I’m crossing this one off my list. I managed to fight all the barriers that stood in my way (procrastination, reality tv, lack of giveashit) and figure out why people are so into this spreadsheet fad.

Actually, I admit that Excel is kind of cool. I’ve never had to use it at work, and never saw a purpose for it in my personal life, so it’s just one of those things I never got around to. But now that I’ve seen all the awesome stuff it can do, I’m spreadsheeting everything to the point that I think I might have a bit of a problem.

This morning I woke up at 5am, unable to fall back asleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about a new idea for a spreadsheet. I ended up getting out of bed and creating an exercise-tracking, diet-watching masterpiece that would bring a tear to your eye! And although my new hobby might be bordering on obsessive compulsion, at least it’s fun.

See? (Identifying figures removed!)

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If that’s not the most incredible weight-loss graph you’ve ever seen… well, I’ll eat my hat. In fact, let me just create a spreadsheet for Hats forcibly consumed in 2008 just in case, ok?

OK.

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